The Road to Elysium

If anyone reading this has ever experienced social anxiety, you’ll know what I’m talking about. The shame. The shame of not being able to function like any other normal being, take the bus, head to work, walk in a crowd like nothing was wrong. But there is. I sincerely don’t know what to do. Things were going so well for a period of time, I finally thought that I had this in control. But I guess not.. I am so damn fed up, so angry with frustration that I think I’m about to burst. What can you do? What measures can you take to be able to function like a normal person? I’ve pretty much done everything I can.. What can I do..?

You don’t really know what you have till you’ve lost it. That counts for many things, but also when it comes to things like images, documents etc. Note to self: REMEMBER TO TAKE BACKUP FOR GOD’S SAKE!

This morning when I was planning on installing Fedora 9, to replace Fedora 8, I thought I had everything backed up. But no. I run web/mysql server on my desktop machine, and I thought that I had backed up the mysql-files and the directories. But no. It ended up with me losing a LOT of posts on my blog (the last time I took backup was before Easter), and even worse, I managed to remove a LOT of images from our personal imagegallery. Needless to say it was pretty much a crappy day. Luckily I found out that we had the images stored somewhere else. As for the posts, bleh, I’ll just have to swallow the fact that I can’t get them back, and that I really screwed up this time. To make matters worse, I found out, after having installed Fedora 9, that Nvidia wasn’t supporting the version of the X-server it was shipped with. Just great. *shakes fist*

So back to Fedora 8 we go.

Once again, note to self:

REMEMBER TO TAKE BACKUP FOR GOD’S SAKE!

Update: A little update on this subject. I actually managed to get all of my posts back! Thank god for Google and their caching of websites. Luckily I hadn’t posted that many pictures, but I managed to get all the text back. Google, you rock!

When setting the title of this post to “A difficult time”, I don’t mean it for myself, but for my sister’s husband. He lost his mother a few days back, and I can’t even begin to understand how that must feel. Losing a friend or someone close to you is difficult, but your mother.. the very person that gave you the gift of life, that held you in her arms all those years, with words of advice and guidance. Now gone from this world, and hopefully in a better one. I met his mother about two months back or so – both his parents were visiting him here in Norway. It was then, I believe, that they found out that her cancer had returned, only worse. And by then it was too late. When she passed away, my little sister sent me an SMS and told me that Luis’ mother had died. It struck me pretty deeply, with great sadness, but mostly for Luis. The funeral was held a day or so after her death, and now Luis will be working hard to be able to bring his father here again. I really hope that with time their wounds will heal. But like I said, I can’t even begin to understand their loss. I wouldn’t have understood mine.