..family is best. That’s actually a Burmese proverb that pretty much sums up what I’m about to write. I’ve been going through a rough time these past few weeks (what else is new?), my social anxiety seems to have picked up some pace, and is creating havoc. And I’ve quit playing World of Warcraft again, which I at one point considered it to be my sanctuary, especially when I was feeling like I am these days. I’ve got no friends, and that in itself is rather depressing. But I do have my family. And by saying “my family”, I mean Marte and Michael, and my parents and sisters. Yesterday was one of the crappiest days I’ve had in a long long time, and one of the best. The day started pretty bad, I had gotten close to no sleep, and that stupid anxiety was making me nuts. If you had asked me during the morning how I was, it would’ve been a baaaad answer. Marte tries her best to cheer me up, and though she sometimes thinks that her effort makes no difference, I’ll say it right now, without her I would’ve been lost a long time ago. She’s the one that has always been there for me for years, and that’s just one of the many reasons that I love her. Michael cheers me up just by being him. He’s like a little spark of light that just smiles all the time, which in turn makes me smile. I’m still amazed at how he is, I can’t quite grasp that some things he’s seeing for the very first time, it be a car, a tree or a dog. Him just being him makes the world a better place. Marte and Michael complete me.
My parents and sisters are great as well. Always supportive, always calling me to see how I am doing, and always coming to our house to visit. I know my mom worries about it bothering me, they coming to visit that often, but I like it. I enjoy their visits a lot, and it helps me to take my mind off things. Both my parents are hard-working people, and I’m proud to be their son. I hope to be as they are someday.
What else is there to say, that in time of test, family is best.
Dude,
Just reading your blog. Initially landed here because of your excellent stuff on the Aspire. Nice.
Though I don’t know much about what is going on with you in your personal life, I know a little about ups and downs. Anxiety is tough, especially at 3 in the morning when you can’t sleep. I may be way off base, but being one myself, you sound a bit manic-depressive. In my depressive modes I try to focus on something positive, whether that’s my son or daughter, a “sanctuary” wherein I can control a world (WoW, Diablo), or an outside activity that has nothing to do with work (just got back from building a log cabin in the Rockies). THe point is, when things are dark, you have to look past that point in time. I never solve problems when I’m depressed, I just have to assume that things will get better.
Hang in there.
steven
Comment by steven — October 12, 2008 @ 13:54